The Three Gates

In searching to find a topic with which to inaugurate my blog, it occurred to me that given the current political season when so much is said that isn’t meant and meant that isn’t said, “The Three Gates” would be good starting point. It’s something I picked up a while back somewhere in my studies that has proved to a very practical and reliable tool for me.

“The Three Gates” comes to us from the Sufis and is basically a process by which we can elevate and refine how we communicate with one another.

The basic idea is that everything we say should be able to pass through three successive gates, like a series of checkpoints, prior to leaving our mouths. At each gate one should be able to answer in the affirmative a question regarding the statement to be made.  If a statement can’t get past all three gates, it shouldn’t leave your mouth. The gates are as follows:

The First Gate: Is it true?

This gate requires honesty. Not everything we wish were true is actually true. Is this thing I’m considering uttering factual or is it only speculation or something I wish were true? If we let something slip unqualified by this gate, we’re likely to let sail on past the other two unimpeded, so it’s a bit of a linchpin (to mix metaphors).

The Second Gate: Does it need to be said?

This gate requires humility and discipline. Being true is different than needing to be said, and for some the unexpressed thought can be a bit like holding a hot rock. In fact, if this gate were strictly applied I suspect it might eliminate nearly all human communication.

The Third Gate: Is it kind?

This gate requires patience, compassion and a bit of skill. How will this true thing that needs to be said be received once uttered?  If not formed with consideration of the receiver, the fact that it’s true and needs to be said may not matter much.

I have found the three gates to be very practical and useful. At the very least, it can help keep us aware of how we communicate. Good things can happen when we think before we speak.